Wednesday, October 04, 2006

How Often Have You Heard This Story?

Parents shocked to discover girl pregnant.

Complaints of stomach pain led parents of a 15-year-old girl to the discovery that she was pregnant, possibly as a result of having been raped. The truth was revealed when the parents took the girl for a check-up last Friday and a doctor confirmed that she was pregnant.

The parents then took the Form Three student to a nearby police station and lodged a report. A suspect has been arrested. Pontian OCPD Supt Zainuddin Zainal said initial investigations revealed that the girl had sex with a 22-year-old man. He said they had sex once when the man went to her house some two months ago when she was alone at home. “Even though the girl claimed the sex was consensual, it is still classified as rape as she is underage,” he said, adding that the suspect has been remanded until Monday.

**** Isn't it really sad that this type of 'discoveries' are being made by parents on a daily basis throughout the length and breadth of our country? Firstly do the parents of these girls keep track of their whereabouts? I have seen very young girls of all ethnic groups roaming around with young and not so young men in shopping malls, eateries and entertainment outlets. When such inexperienced girls are let loose anything can happen. When things go terribly wrong the reflex excuse is either rape (statutory, consensual or forced) or that she'd been drugged and can't remember what happened. Very convenient and not much explanation or justification required.

Only recently (18/8/06) I had posted on a report that the level of promiscuity and ignorance about sexual matters in campuses is shockingly high. In that post I had asked who was to blame; the youth, their parents, our society or all of them. Those questions I posed still remain unanswered at least for me. I worry about it. I should. I have a daughter, although she will be a teen only more than a decade from now. Is there any way that we could fight this teenage promiscuity and its sequelae, pregnancy? How effective has religious education been and can it substitute direct parental involvement? Should not parents take more care in their children's daily activities while conciously attempting to inculcate 'proper' moral values and reinforcing these regularly?

I personally feel that on average, Malaysian parents have more often than not, passively and voluntarily abdicated their rights and duties as parents to schools and religious establishments. This is the lazy and irresponsible way of washing their hands of their parental obligations. The end result is unwanted pregnancies. (Sending their kids regularly for tuition classes is not the end of their duties.)

An interesting discussion: Should young people abstain from sex until they are married?


Blogger walski69 said...

This latest report (as with many others in the past) underlines one of the reasons why it is important that Sex Education be taught in schools. In general, I think that teens do not know the consequence of sex, that it leads to, among other things, pregnancy.

I know the arguments laid against Sex Ed, that it "promotes" promisquity, etc., but look at the situation we have today without such education - ignorance.

Another common argument is that Sex Ed is something parents are responsible for. Well, guess what? Very rarely does this happen. We're merely kidding ourselves, and at the same time putting our kids in possible peril.

Sex Ed in schools may be thought of by some as more abdication of parental responsibility, but as it is, most parents don't even approach the subject, let alone educate their kids.

To digress slightly, and this may sound strange, but a single ex-colleague of mine (who was in her 30's at the time) didn't even know the basic functions of her sexual equipment. She thought that a baby was born out of the anus (I kid you not). We all had a good laugh when she blurted this "fact" out. In retrospect, this kind of ignorance is probably one of the reasons we have incidences of surprise pregnancies.

As for promiscuity, to me it is not something that should be legislated - it is a moral choice, and I for one believe that morality is an individual's responsibility. Promiscuity in itself is not a problem per se; not knowing/realizing the consequence of ones actions is.

Some may think that the solution is more legislation, and stricter, enforcement of religion, with the ideal being a totally sex-segregated society. That, and more censorship, probably (the media being the easy target always).

Easy and simplistic solutions rarely solve problems, however, and more often than not, lead to other problems (I think we see enough of that in Malaysia as it is).

Everyone needs to know and understand the consequence of their actions, which then forms the basis making "moral" choices in life. What we have today with regards to sex, IMHO, is a situation where the facts are withheld, knowingly, on the mistaken notion that not knowing will somehow "protect" our teens.

1:44 AM GMT+8  

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